Very rarely do I truly and honestly let people have a real look into my head and know what I am thinking and going through. But just for a second I am going to let you in as I reveal some things…
One chilly winter morning I couldn’t sleep and the sun hadn't come up yet, so I did something really weird- I went for a walk. Not that walking is weird, but if you know me at all you would know that I hate the cold. So choosing to walk in subzero temps is weird for me.
As I walked I found a spot and sat down to watch the sunrise. While I was sitting there looking over the frozen lake thinking about life I began to become numb from the cold. I continued to stare at the beauty of the snowdrifts and ice as I watched the sun come up. If you ever get the chance to watch the sunrise there is a moment that always takes my breath away. It is so beautiful to witness this perfect moment. That moment when the colors begin to wash away the darkness and the dark bluish black fades into a deep purple. There are shades of pink and red that begin to form like when you wash your hands after you have painted with a red paint and the water fades away the colors. As I was watching the pink fade into yellowish orange there came the moment I had been waiting for, the moment when the sun just begins to rise out of the horizon. Time stands still and everything is silent and the cold subsides. The wind stops and in that moment everything else fades away. Thoughts of a past that haunts, thoughts of what is to come, fears of what future plans are to be made, all the fears that are bottled up inside, all the confusion, all the thoughts of what might have been, all the blame if I had just been better, all the problems I face day to day can't sneak into my head and are washed away for those few brief moments.
For those few fleeting moments true and utter beauty is all you can see. All you can think of is peace as the warmth of the sun wraps you up like a giant hug reassuring you that you lasted through the night and you are strong; you can make it. As reality comes crashing back and things rush back into your mind’s eye you know you can make it and that everything will work itself out. All the problems we face with money, jobs, friends, and relationships will be fine because no matter what there is always a sunrise following the sunset. Sometimes the night can seem too dark and that it will never leave, but just hold on because there is always that moment of silence on the horizon that will pick you back up and warm your soul to help you find a way to survive another day.