The paint has spilled yet the canvas lays bare. The stark white canvas looks both mocking and unblemished. The falling drips of paint slowly leeching and oozing through my fingertips scream as they die a sad and unwilling death on the cold beams of wood that make up the floor in this empty candlelit room. The screams from my dreams are fighting into my mind’s eye and I am left sitting here with these things rushing through me as they yearn to be released into the world.
Staring into the little flickering flame that sits across the room, I am reliving the events that transpired to place me where I am, thinking about how life has not been so gentle with me. The stench of regret fills my nostrils yet the cool, warm air of accomplishment still manages to waft away all shades of shame and regret. And once again the glowing of the candlelight illuminates the beckoning white canvas.
With a paint-stained finger I write in the same childish smearing way we did in kindergarten with simple finger-paints. I write a poem to express my feelings and realize that the only thing coming out is forgiveness, which is most sought after and overlooked in our world. When we do something wrong guilt sets in and the only relief we find is in the warmth of being told we are forgiven. As we deal with the pain of the knives stuck in our backs from the ones who say they love us, the only way to heal our open wounds is through the hardest, yet simplest, act of forgiving.
The pattern has shifted and the light bulb hanging from the ceiling has shed light on the problem I have been fighting this entire time, which is that I have never found the way to truly forgive. So for that I apologize and truly beg for your forgiveness, my friends. And to those who have hurt me and scarred me emotionally, physically, and otherwise, I have held on so tightly to many things. It is time to let go.
So to my friends, loves, and fellow drops of paint I scream at the top of my lungs "I FORGIVE YOU & LOVE YOU!!!!!!!!"