People tell us lies. Our mind believes the lies, grows the lies, and tells us they are true.
That doesn't make it actually true--either what the people, or our mind, say to us.
I have been told my whole life that I am not good at friendships or relationships. I was rejected a lot in school by other kids, including the cute guy asking me to "go out" with him, me saying yes, and the next day him telling me, "I was just kidding." And there was the time, on my 17th birthday nonetheless, that my own mother told me I couldn't pay a guy enough to go out with me. Yup, she said that. Or there was the engagement to an emotionally abusive man that told me I "didn't know how to make friends or keep friends. If it wasn't for him, I wouldn't have any friends."
Thing is, those people were not right to tell me those things, because those things were not true. They were statements and actions born of their own issues. But my mind and heart believed their words. Regardless of reality.
I have friends I have known for 30 years who I am still very close to. I met a wonderful man who not only dated me, but married me 10 years ago. And I never paid him one red cent. Still, my heart believed I was no good at making or keeping friends. I was shocked when a dear, dear friend reached out to keep in touch with me when she moved to another continent. Finally, at the age of 39, I finally thought maybe I could have and keep friends.
A couple weeks ago I wrote about this revelation on my personal blog. The outpouring of amazing words from people saying, hey wait, I'm your friend. Charity, I love spending time with you. Charity, you are a great person. You deserve to know you are worthy of friends.
I was shocked. I couldn't believe it. I hadn't written the post for affirmation, but here it was, coming from everywhere. New friends, longtime friends. It was amazing.
So the guy that was just kidding about going out with me? That wasn't because I was less than. It was his loss. My mothers' words about dating didn't turn out to be true, and the fiance'--he was just a disaster of a hot mess. I believed what they had said to me. My mind fed on what they said to me. My heart embraced what they said. I took it all as a reflection on me, who I was, and my deficiencies.
Which was totally wrong. They were totally wrong.
I have value. I am not deficient. I am worthy to be treated well. I don't have to tolerate abuse. I can move forward without their approval or disapproval because, they are wrong.
Have you been lied to/about? Has your mind believed the lie? Has it repeated the lie to you? Have you embraced the lies? I ask you today to begin stepping away from those lies. Begin letting go of the words that were said to you, yelled at you, and screamed at you. You don't have to stay there. Let the lies and the liars hang out together without you.